


Love, God

by lucybeetle



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Crack, Daddy Kink, M/M, Manipulation, Mind Games, Sexting, Songfic, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 08:34:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13209972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybeetle/pseuds/lucybeetle
Summary: Taiga's relationship with Kuroto is just about perfect except for one or two little matters.





	Love, God

**Author's Note:**

  * For [guava](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guava/gifts), [tokumusume](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokumusume/gifts).



> I promised guava a CEOSnipe songfic to The Offspring's "She's Got Issues", and here it is! I'm sorry it's been so long in the making! Also devoted to tokumusume. Consider this my little tribute to you two and a way to thank you for your love and friendship this year.
> 
>  **Warning** for mind games, "daddy kink", and general arseholery from Dan.

Taiga wouldn’t have wanted to change anything about his relationship with Dan Kuroto; not really. He generally believed in accepting one’s current situation rather than over-analysing. Yet, in quieter moments when he was alone and found his thoughts drifting toward the subject of Kuroto, there were always just one or two little matters that pricked Taiga’s conscience.

 _I’m seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind  
_ _Well she’s got baggage and it’s all the emotional kind_

For instance, the way Taiga would be talking to Kuroto, who would obviously not be listening; lost in his own thoughts or scribbling on paper or doing something on his tablet. Until, out of nowhere, he would shout “I AM A GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!” and rush off to his lab to begin work on his latest flash of inspiration. Then there was somewhat jarring contrast between his public facade as a genial CEO, vs the way he actually behaved when alone with Taiga. That wouldn’t have been a problem, in itself; save for Taiga having a sinking feeling that one day, he would try to warn someone that Kuroto was a supervillain bent on global destruction, and not be believed until it was too late.

 _She talks about closure and that “validation” bit  
_ _I don’t mean to be insensitive but I really hate that shit_

When Taiga had mentioned this in conversation one day, Kuroto had said “You really should be more sympathetic, you know. I’ve had a tough life, what with my mother dying, my father being in jail, and constantly having my godly talents underestimated. The least you could do is _try_ to be a little more understanding.”

The corners of Taiga’s lips had tautened a little at the mention of Kuroto’s father, because that was the other thing.

 _Oh man she's got issues_  
_And I'm gonna pay_  
_She thinks she's the victim  
_ _Yeah_

_***_

Their first formal date had involved dinner in a restaurant, a moonlit walk along the pier, and a trip to that pier’s fairground wheel; after which Kuroto had got Taiga into bed for the first time. That was faster than Taiga usually moved, but the sex was amazing so he didn’t care. Kuroto had installed increased security in his office just to make sure no one walked in on their frequent escapades - over his desk, or on what he called the “fuck square”, two sofas that faced each other and had high backs to ensure privacy. The term for Kuroto’s type, as Taiga understood it, was “power bottom.” It felt a little unusual for him but it worked out perfectly. Taiga got all the gratification of hearing Kuroto beg for Taiga’s cock, and none of the pressure of taking the lead in bed.

 _Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind_  
_But when she calls out his name in bed  
_ _That's where I draw the line_

“ _So_ much better than Maki,” Kuroto breathed one day as they lay on the sofa in the aftermath, Taiga still trying to regain his breath.

Taiga sighed. He'd known, even before getting together with Kuroto, that Kuroto had previously dated Maki. Taiga sometimes wondered _why_ Kuroto had in fact dated Maki, since it seemed that the relationship had had a lot of ups and downs. Kuroto regularly complained about Maki’s alleged failings as a boyfriend, and on at least one occasion had called out Maki’s name.

It brought up feelings, long buried, from the pit of Taiga’s stomach. Maki had been one of Taiga’s closest friends and the pain of losing him was still raw. But even hearing Kuroto moan for Maki in bed wasn't quite as bad as the time Taiga had been buried balls deep inside him, only to hear “Oh, yes, daddy! Harder!”

 _You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone  
_ _But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy when we're gettin' it on_

Taiga had pulled out of Kuroto, letting his erection soften and leak drips of pre-come over the bed. Kuroto sat up, “Is that it?”

“Yes, of course that’s fucking ‘it!’ I don't want to hear about your dad when I’m inside your ass!”

“I didn't say anything about my dad,” said Kuroto.

“You called me daddy. A word which, as you know, refers to someone’s father,” said Taiga between clenched teeth.

“I wasn’t thinking about my actual dad. That's disgusting.” Kuroto’s grin was far wider than Taiga was comfortable with in this context, “I was just calling _you_ daddy. You know? As in, fuck me, daddy. Harder. Like I said.”

Taiga didn't even need to finish himself off by hand. The mood was completely gone.

 _She's playing the victim_  
_And taking it all out on me_  
_My god she's got issues  
_ _And I'm gonna pay_

_***_

“It’s not you, it’s me,” Taiga said.

It sounded even more ridiculous aloud than it had in his head and, more importantly, it wasn’t going to get rid of Dan Kuroto. Taiga wasn’t sure what would. He anticipated Kuroto begging for a while, maybe sending gifts, trying to wheedle Taiga into changing his mind before giving up and moving onto his next boyfriend (or unwitting target.) It might be best to break off contact completely - block Kuroto’s number, delete his messages, and find another abandoned hospital to move into so that Kuroto couldn’t casually stroll in at any time. Siberia might be far away enough.

 _If you think I'm controlling_  
_Then why do you follow me around_  
_If you're not co-dependent  
_ _Then why do you let others drag you down_

Taiga wondered for a moment if he were overreacting just a little. Maybe Kuroto himself was having second thoughts about their relationship. It followed that, if someone’s partner constantly reacted negatively to being called “daddy” or called by the name of his dead friend or being asked to fuck in public on the top floor of Genm Corp, said someone might eventually lose enthusiasm for the relationship. Even if that someone were Dan Kuroto, godly genius and supervillain in the making.

What would Kuroto say if he wanted to break up with Taiga? Probably something like _“Welcome to Dumpsville, baby, population: you_.” Or perhaps he might just go missing and leave a pile of his clothes on a beach in Australia. Neither of these were options where Taiga was concerned, so that led him right back to square one. He would have to bite the proverbial bullet and just get on with it. Even though one of them was Kuroto, both of them were adults. It shouldn’t be that difficult to call time on their relationship or at least try to re-assert some boundaries.

 _I don't know why you're messed up_  
_I don't know why your whole life is a chore_  
_Just do me a favour_  
_And check your baggage at the door_

Taiga typed _need 2 talk 2 u_ into his phone and was just about to hit send when another text message came through, from Kuroto: _I need your professional opinion as a doctor._ (Kuroto never bothered with any kind of text speak or abbreviations.)

Taiga deleted his original message and instead typed in _Wt?_

The reply came within seconds: a photograph of Kuroto’s asshole, spread wide open, pink and glistening. A plastic cord dangled from his opening, connected to a remote control - _How am I gonna get these vibrating love beads out?_

 _Jst pull it out by the fkn cord_ , Taiga typed. He breathed deeply, feeling pain blossom across his temples. It seemed that Kuroto truly was a god; omnipresent, or at least with strong enough powers of telepathy to be aware that Taiga was thinking of breaking up with him.  

 _That’s not very safe_ , Kuroto’s answer came back. _I think you should come over here and safely remove them under medical supervision :( :(_

Taiga was just about to tell Kuroto to shove that idea up his already overstuffed anus, when another picture arrived: Kuroto’s face this time, head thrown back in ecstasy, long tongue reaching across to lick the opposite corner of his mouth. Taiga focused on what he knew that tongue could do; deliberately blocking out the eyes staring straight into his own from the screen.  
  
_C u in 5_ , he typed, and closed down the phone.


End file.
